


Dan and Phil Go Outside (A Lot)

by counting2fifteen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, can you tell I don't know what to tag this, dan and phil travel show, like really slight - Freeform, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 22:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20316802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counting2fifteen/pseuds/counting2fifteen
Summary: Dan and Phil have a conversation with a studio executive. The Dan and Phil travel show isn't happening anymore, but it's hard for Phil to let go of.





	Dan and Phil Go Outside (A Lot)

**Author's Note:**

> so I was supposed to be packing for college but then Phil uploaded and I got inspired. Inspiration is temporary cardboard boxes are eternal.
> 
> also I've been doing a thing on tumblr where I post [updates](https://counting2fifteen.tumblr.com/tagged/writing-updates) on how my writing's going if you're into that
> 
> RIP DAPGOAL
> 
> ok let's go

So this was how it ended. They had spent months planning, assembling a crew, and finding a network willing to take a risk on this whole internet thing. They even had a title- Dan and Phil Go Outside (A Lot)- but in just six words, it was gone.

“We’re pushing it back a year,” the man in the suit said.

Phil shook his head. “We can’t do that.”

Dan was shaking his head too. “That’s when we’re going on tour. We can’t possibly push that back.”

“I’m sorry. Something came up.” The man in the suit didn’t look sorry. He just looked bored.

“What came up?” Phil asked, fighting the tension in his voice down. “I don’t understand, last we spoke-”

“A different show. Look, if you really want this done-”

“We’re not rescheduling our tour,” Dan said, and the finality in his voice made Phil jump. Dan did a good job of hiding the raw emotion in his voice, but Phil knew what this tour meant to him. Proof that he could push through the pain. Proof that his mental health couldn’t hold him back, that he could do anything anyone else could, no matter what it took from him.

Dan had never wanted special treatment or allowances for his depression. Sometimes Phil just wished Dan could tell the difference between special treatment and help.

“We’ve put a lot of our savings into our show,” Phil added. “We’ve got venues lined up. We have a crew. We’ve already filmed the announcement video. It’s not being postponed.”

A lot of our savings was an understatement. This wasn’t as bad as tatinof, but it wasn’t too far off from it either. If this didn’t work out- Phil tried not to think about it too much.

“So should I tell the network you’re not interested anymore?” A flood of nausea filled Phil’s stomach- no, not now, not after everything, not after how close they had been- 

Dan was opening his mouth, probably to confirm that yes, it was lovely working with you, but this just isn’t happening, when Phil blurted out: “Can we have a minute to talk about it?” 

Suit guy looked slightly less bored. “Sure,” he said, nodding at the office door.

Phil glanced at Dan. Dan glanced back. 

Dan moved first, scraping his chair up awkwardly before bumping his legs on the table when he tried to stand up. Phil followed.

“You’re not really thinking about still doing this, are you?” Dan asked once the door closed behind them.

Phil glanced through the window at suit guy, who was still looking at Dan and Phil. “I don’t know. Are you?”

Dan snorted. “The guy they sent to kill our show wants us to ditch our tour and just told us to go stand in the hall. I’ll pass.”

“I mean, yeah, but…” Phil didn’t know how to explain it, the explosive cocktail of needing to do it all, chronic youngest child syndrome, the restless feeling in his legs that kept him up at night. “Don’t you wonder if you’ll regret it?”

Dan’s voice softened. “Of course I will. I regret everything. But you can’t do everything, Phil. You need to pick. You need to let go.” 

Phil didn’t want to let go. “Maybe we’ll get a chance to do it later,” he said.

“Maybe,” said Dan, wiping every trace of doubt from his voice, not because he didn’t have any, but because he was Dan, and Phil needed him. Phil fell in love with him all over again.

“But not now,” Phil said.

“No, not now,” Dan said.

“Okay.” It wasn’t okay, not really. But it could be. Would be.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry for freaking out.”

Dan touched Phil’s arm. “Hey. Don’t be.”

Phil nodded and turned back to the door.

“And Phil. I’m proud of you. You know that, right?”

Phil did, but it was still nice to hear. “You too,” he said, turning back to throw Dan a smile before turning back to the door and the sinking feeling that after months of work, months of silence, Phil had nothing to show his audience.

**Author's Note:**

> [like/rb on tumblr!](https://counting2fifteen.tumblr.com/post/187128459478/dan-and-phil-go-outside-a-lot) (if you want)  
I welcome constructive criticism of my work just be gentle pls


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